Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
