ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
