but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
