Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize