it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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