i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
did i just pee glitter
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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