More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
