On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
God, I missed his penis.
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