i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
