We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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