That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
