sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
