Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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