i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
