Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
