Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
cat food counts as protein by the way
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
