just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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