in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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