you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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