I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize