how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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