i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My dick has a subreddit
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
