can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
