I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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