I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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