So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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