i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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