I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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