We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
