Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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