your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
