I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
