i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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