a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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