Well apparently he's into motor boating.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm always down for nudity.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
