You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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