yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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