its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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