I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
