i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
