Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
