How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Text me some of your sweat
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
