Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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