I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
