just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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