So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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