Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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