You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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