In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
