Define "chronic" masturbator.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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