bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
