Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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