i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
