I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
