He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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