Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need moral support for this bender
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
