I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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