Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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