Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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