I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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