You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
