he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
