T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
