i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
