I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
