You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
