but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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