Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
