I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
